October 27, 2024

Becoming At Ease

ideas that empower you to live your best life,

master your mind and get things done with joy and ease

Read time: 2 minutes

Hello Reader

You probably hear this a lot:

"Don't compare yourself to others"

Well - I disagree.

It's ok to compare to others - when the comparison is good for you.

Here's how to tell if it's good for you:

You get inspired.

Let me explain.

I had a friend who had a fascinating fashion sense, wore the most fabulous clothes. She was always elegant - and I was so jealous! I wanted what she had: the sense of fashion, the nice clothes... so I'd compare myself to her and the feeling I had was: jealousy...

I have another friend who has built a fantastic career and she has a large supportive network of friends. I'm inspired! I admire what she does, how she treats others and how she approaches every situation. I'm inspired - I want to be like her! Her way of being makes me want to be better at what I do and how I do it. The feeling I have is: admiration...

You see, there are different reasons that make you compare yourself to others. And understanding the exact reason why you do it, gives you awareness. Awareness to choose if you want to continue competing with others, or you'd rather do something else with your time and energy.

So next time you're comparing, I want you to ask yourself:

Do I get jealous or do I get inspired?

If you want what others have out of envy or jealousy, that comparison does not serve you. If you act driven by envy and pursue what others have, disconnected from your own values and goals, you'll conclude in the end that it was not worth it - it did not make you feel happy or fulfilled.

But if by comparing, you get inspired, you're then free to use the inspiration to fuel your own improvement. If you allow yourself to be inspired, this can help you focus on what's important to you and make progress in the direction of your own goals.

In other words:

If you understand why you do it and
the comparison makes you better - go for it!

Oh, wait, but what if I compare myself to someone who I consider less than me?

I'm glad you asked. This is a safe space.

Does it make you feel arrogant or grateful ?

Arrogance comes from fear.

Gratitude comes from love.

You always have a choice.

That's it for today.

Rooting for you, as always,

Carmen

P.S.: Do you know the secret of empowered people?

Ways I can help you:

Worries Be Gone! - make worries disappear, one by one, with this powerful approach. Download the free guide here.
Say NO with Confidence and Ease - get inspiration on how to politely and firmly decline requests that are not aligned with your values or priorities. Download the free document here.
Premium 1-1 Coaching - for mid career professionals who struggle with overwhelm, insecurities and a job they don’t love, but they want a confident, stress-free life. Email me “premium” and I’ll get you details.